All genuine, good intentions are honorable. However, not every good intention is effective. Some good intentions never get beyond the intention, nothing gets done. Good intentions do not always lead to good results. We need to look a little deeper concerning our intentions.
Emotions is often the driver for our good intentions. When we do something motivated by good intentions, it makes us feel good. We all like doing something that is worthwhile and helpful. But our intentions can cause us to act without much thought about the outcome. Many of us want to help others, but we are often driven by emotions rather than logic, reason, and even God’s perfect will.
Intrusion can be the result of our good intentions. We assume someone wants our help, but it is not received well. We want to help but the person on the receiving end feels like it is none of our business. It may not be any of our business. Any help or assistance we give needs to be in a spirit of humility rather than superiority. We can jump over that line quicker than we think.
Assumptions abound in the sphere of good intentions. Many people mistakenly assume everyone is like them with the same attitudes and likes and dislikes. For instance: you love attention, so you organize a party to honor someone for a special occasion while not realizing they do not like the attention. They may play along and give a fake ‘thank you’ but hated the whole ordeal. You walked away thinking you made their day while they are thinking, “I really wished they had not done that!” One option is to give a thoughtful gift without making such fanfare. A little social intelligence is needed by all.
Dependency is a big problem. Those who we intend to help can become too dependent upon us to relieve their problems. Instead of building initiative and self-reliance in the one consistently being helped, they become addicted to our helping hand. To make matters worse, the helper likes the feeling of being needed so the cycle repeats itself again. The relationship often becomes imbalanced with the giver feeling superior and the receiver becoming a never-ending project.
Effectiveness is too often lost because the best intentions and the final outcomes are miles apart. Here again, in this instance emotions trump logic. We have good intentions and assume the results will be aligned with our intentions. Not always true. If a beggar asks for a few bucks, we may feel good about helping him, but he may use it for a bad purpose. If we continue to bail a family member out of trouble, then the person never learns their lesson.
It is too easy to pat ourselves on the back for giving and going just because we get an emotional surge. Christians often confuse emotion with spirituality. Yes, spiritual things can have an emotional element. We can spiritually experience overwhelming joy, shed tears, and have an outburst of “Hallelujah!” However, once our feet hit the ground, we need to step back and judge if the things we are doing are effective. Our zeal for the work of God can become a flaw if our carnal enthusiasm pushes us beyond God’s desire and purpose.
Dignity is something not usually talked about in work and ministry of helping people. All people need to be treated with dignity. I have seen situations when the benevolent effort was given in a way that the one served was unintentionally demeaned. In the age of social media, we get excited to have something great to post, but perhaps some things need to be quietly done. Even when people smile and say thank you, they may feel different inside. They may even feel gratitude for the help but deep inside feel less because they had to be helped. No one needs to feel as if they are only our project. A “hand up” is much better than a “hand-out”.
As Christians, we are working together in the Kingdom of God. We need to be good stewards of the resources God gives us. And those we help need to be truly blessed inside and out. Let our efforts be in order and effective for the King of kings and Lord of lords. We are His messengers. What message do we give?
Yours on the Journey,
Harry L. Whitt
Pathway Journey 